


Memories of a Dinner Table

by ARose



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, I'm so sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, poor eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 11:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9656198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARose/pseuds/ARose
Summary: Eren Yaeger may be dense. He may be overly compassionate and rush into danger without the slightest though of his safety. But he understands that people he loves will die, he understands now that even he cannot stop that.And he remembers.





	

Eren sat at the table and gazed around at his peers and leaders who were all talking amongst each other, discussing their plans for the upcoming expedition with seriousness plastered on all of their faces— even Hange's, who almost never seemed serious when they spoke about Titans. Mikasa sat to the left of him, and although he didn't realise it, she looked at him every now again without stopping in her – albeit small and almost completely one-sided – conversation with Armin whom sat to the left of her.

In the corner of the table he sat, out of the conversation of everyone on it yet hearing every word the people on the table spoke and listening to them with attentiveness people didn't think he had, that he knew people thought he didn't have. And every word they emitted entered his ears, engraving into his mind as he listened closely, patiently— another thing people didn't think he could be.

In his silence he didn't notice that he was tapping the fingernails of his right hand against the table in a pattern, thumb to pinkie, pinkie to thumb, a pattern that continued as the words around him filled the room and his ears. And as he listened, with all the people on the table speaking, he couldn't help but sink into a memory.

_Eren sat at the dinner table, his head held up by his hands, and his elbows unceremoniously sitting against the table as he leant forwards. His mother sat across the table from him and as his eyes caught her own her lips turned up into a beautiful smile that practically lit up the entire room. With that smile to him still on her lips she turned to his father who sat right beside her, his own smile decorating his face– which was a rare occurrence for the man._

_Beside him, on the chair to the right of his own, sat Mikasa whose face seem to light up as he turned to her and began talking about the things they had done earlier that day. Mikasa listened to his every words with the attentiveness she always had when Eren spoke and when her lips twitched up a minuscule amount and he noticed, he couldn't help his lips from becoming a wide grin._

_And with that same smile on his face he looked over to his parents._

_His father had a grim expression on his face now._

––

_His mother looked at him with that smile on her face and tears falling down her face and red splattered everywhere. So much blood. Too much. Stop. Stopstopstop._

Eren blinked wildly, scanning the room with his green eyes and finding everyone staring at him. He stared back, looking around the table and at everyone's expressions.

They looked.... concerned– well, with the obvious exception of Levi of course. Why? But then Eren looked down and realised he was stabbing his fingernails into his wrist, and instantly knew why they looked so concerned. His answer was clear.

They thought he was going to transform.

(He wondered why he didn't.)

Laughing slightly he looked into the eyes of every occupant of the room one by one before he spoke, a strained smile on his face, "Hey, don't you trust me?"

The pauses in every single persons response made their answers clear enough.

He continued smiling as most of them – the ones who didn't mind speaking out loud replied with an "of course" or a "yes".

Mikasa stared at him in silence, and her answer was clear.

Eren wasn't stupid, despite what everyone said.

\---

He sat at the dinner table for the last time, but this time there was much less people then the previous times he had come here. So much less.

And Eren turned to Mikasa, his eyes filled with tears he wouldn't allow to fall. And he asked (he couldn't tell if he was asking her or the empty chairs), once again, a simple yet complex question.

"Do you trust me?"

Her response was instantaneous, her own eyes filled with almost invisible tears. She nodded, no pause at all in her answer.

Eren laughed, the sound hollow but at the same time it seemed content, more than likely at her answer.

"I guess that's what the problem was, wasn't it? They put too much trust into me,"

There was quiet in the room and Eren looked around once more at the once completely filled room. He sighed. And then he pushed his chair back out and looked at Mikasa,

"Thank you though. Thank you for trusting me."

She didn't follow him out.


End file.
